- Has your abuser ever accused you of the most vile, cruel lies?
- Accused you of being crazy?
- Twisted everything you say and do?
- Crazymaking mind games ?
Most of us have experienced that with the Gaslighting Narcissitic Bully person in our lives. We are left emotionally reeling. The hurt can be nearly unbearable.
You are likely experiencing PROJECTION.
To make things simple, he/she is accusing you of what he/she is Thinking, Doing or Planning OR has DONE!
It is very hurtful to us when they project their thoughts, feelings, behaviours, and impulses — and pathololgize the people they target.
Those terribly cruel words hurt us so very much. We are devastated trying to understand where they came up with the idea.
What could we have done that they reacted so vehemently about? We are stunned by their words. We are stunned by their actions.
So, you ask yourself “Is he/she doing this just to be intentionally and horribly cruel? He/she must know it’s ridiculous.”
Expect endless blame and criticism often for trivial nitpicking things.
Expect them to ‘split’ you into a good or bad person instantaneously as their defence mechanisms kick in to protect their psyche (self).
The personality disordered will always be able to find a scapegoat.
Here’s a good description of what one will encounter:
Bullies project their inadequacies, shortcomings, behaviours etc., on to other people; to avoid facing up to their inadequacy and doing something about it (learning about oneself can be painful), and to distract and divert attention away from themselves and their inadequacies.
Projection is achieved through blame, criticism and allegation; once you realise this – every criticism, allegation etc., that the bully makes about their target is actually an admission or revelation about themselves.
This knowledge can be used to perceive the bully’s own misdemeanours; for it is likely that the bully has committed these acts.
Remember: It really is NOT about you, rather, it’s about the bully.